4th Monthsary!

It's 8th of March. 4 months in the company. And currently asking myself, until when would i stay in this company? I'm praying until June, i'm praying for a job breakthrough. A job that i can call a passion though there would be a lot of work that i would encounter but then a job that can be a happiness. Happiness in the sense i can still serve the Lord our King. Worshiping Him is a part of my life. Worshiping Him through sharing His words and being the real me every now and then i'm in His house--longing for Him more and more each day. And yeah betcha! It's His love that strengthens me with my work nowadays. Though i get tired at the end of the day it is unto Him that i'm clinging for. :)

And this day i'm currently reading a book that i bought at OMF lit last Sunday. It helps, entitled -- Your First Job (A Practical Guide to Survival/Success) I like this question from the book.

"How do we develop a positive view of work?"

--We begin at the beginning..literally.. We begin with GOD! :)

Whoa! Our awesome God! I'm being speechless. :)

COLOSSIANS 3:22-24

²² Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. ²³ Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, ²⁴since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

Part 3. ONLY YOU MADE ME SO WEAK =(

a part of me is being honest.
a part of me can explode in any moment!
i just can't take it anymore.
to whom i can talk with all this feelings?
surely it's God's listening to me.
and He knows it.

HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF!
i know he'll hate when i say this things.
but i just can't lie and the truth is -HEY! I'M STRUGGLING.
Longing for you. Makes me wanna say "I WANNA BE WITH YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!"
It's not because i'm attracted to you, either not because you're doing things that made me struggle.
But upon looking in your eyes, it made me really weaker.
And i really wanna hug you the night i slept by your side.
And so close that i almost kiss you goodnight.
And i wanna say,"can i take care of your heart?"
But i just can't, i stop myself, controlled my emotions cause i know it won't make sense at all.
It's better for me to be alone struggling than to make you struggle too.
I know it's hard but then i just can't contain it cause deep inside my heart -- it's your name. my heart shouts your name. so loud. saying i love you and praying that you'll be mine. =(

Yet i'm happy with that i know God's in control that He doesn't let me to hug you that night. I bet i just have to move far away from you. Oops! Just kidding aside. I won't do that at all, cause it's you who made me more closer to Daddy God and it's you who made me feel that God's love me so much. Struggling and funny how it seems but it's you and only you can make me struggle. Whoa! All i can say is -- GOD BLESS OUR HEARTS. ♥Ü

weird but after i release all these thoughts that i'm feeling for this man made me so great. that i can say hey i don't struggle that much. i'm doing great. my secret? Nothing at all, it's just me being real. saying everything to God and it's God's love that made me strong to endure all this that i'm feeling for.

FACT: When you're in fullness of God's love it would give you strength at your weakest point that made you stand still and overcome your struggle your facing through -- it is by His love. God's love shining in my heart. :)

***ENDURANCE--GOD'S WILL--God's Grace--The One--The Promise--HOLDING ON GOD'S PROMISES***

thoughts.

stop it coz it wouldn't make sense at all.
never come close coz surely you'll get hurt.
know your limits.

it's hard.
it's painful.

let go of those insecurities.
let go of that thoughts.

time pass by.
time will reveal itself.

pray sincerely from the heart.

pray for your heart. :)

TRUST GOD'S PROMISES.

Yesterday and Today Tears ^^

TEARS? Mind you bloggers i'm a tearful person. But it do changes. :)

Let me share you some experiences of mine. Before and after truly accepting God in my life.

Crying Session whenever i wanna let all the pain that i'm feeling get by.

YESTERDAY:

Text my college bestfriend and tell him that i wanna cry. Stay at his apartment, and then i'll cry everything by his side and him? He would just let me cry those tears until i get tired of crying and be he'll find me sleeping. When it's about time to go home he'll wake me up and would let me eat (nakaktuwa lang kasi sinusubuan nya pa ako,knowing me na hindi talaga ako kakain pag ganun ako) and before i go home he'll buy me an ice cream. (Fact! pag umiyak ako gusto ko ng ice cream and i do love ice cream talaga nakakagaan kasi ng pakiramdam, i feel like i'm a little child.) Then after that day i'll be ok.

TODAY: (As in yung nangyari ngayon araw na ito)

I buy an ice cream before i leave SM for the fact that i'm feeling not that so good. Then here's the twist the moment my LG leader prayed tears just fall. Tears fall. Tears fall. And i became ok bt guess what after he leave me, the moment i step on the jeepney tears fall again. I don't know why. I really wanna hug somebody but i just can't, coz no one is there to give me a hug. It's just me alone which means God knows that i'm not a kiddo anymore. That in Him i can face all my fears and those burdens that i'm feeling. It's like Him saying -- "Trust me, just let it fall-let those tears fall.I'm just here for you."

Whoa! Whatta a feeling. See the difference? :)

Nyaman na Dad, buri mu talaga ika mu ne. Apansin ku pin manibat tinggap daka keng pusu ku pag makanyan sitwasyun ala kung akaul para gagan bagkus buri mu ika mung akit ku. Hay mamaksing naku nnman. :)

By the way it's FAITHFULNESS AND ENDURANCE that our good Lord deals with me nowadays. And because of His love, His great love for me i can stand still and say unto Him -- I CAN ONLY HOLD UNTO YOU--YOU ARE GOD ALONE! :)

ban-deng with GG :)

A glimpse of our bonding. It's fun. Going at Sm Tarlac not knowing the right directions on how to get there. Watch a movie that really strikes my heart--127 hours. Had a dinner at Mr.Frosty. And the weirdest part wearing the same color of shirt. Funny how it seems but it is our God that made this day a joy breaking one. :) Captured moments last ^^














BE BLESS! GO OUT AT YOUR COMFORT ZONE. TAKE A CHANCE TO JOURNEY.
LOOKING FORWARD FOR LOTS OF JOURNEY WITH HIM. THANK YOU DAD FOR HIS LIFE. HE'S A BLESSING--GOD'S GRACE. :)

God at work :)

"I WILL WORK ON YOU TODAY!"

whoa! those lines inspired me this day. it's Daddy God telling me those words.
i dunno i'm the type of person if i'm mad i'll just leave you behind and won't talk at you at all until my madness would be gone. oh well we had a small misunderstanding at home.

i didn't have my dinner last night though i'm really hungry, it's just that tears started to fall and i locked myself at my room crying. praying. until i found myself sleeping. and i didn't talked to my parents at all. until now, why? because i'm still praying for it. how to start talking to them again.

weird? na-ah! it's just me being quiet instead of saying non-sense things which might broke my heart if i would say so. praying that tomorrow before i would leave the house i would get the chance to talk with them. i know i can. and it would be You, my Dad, my King, who would fight for me. :)

***TRUSTING HIS WAYS ^^

Weakest Point--waiting.

it's been days since i'm struggling from work.
work overloads. you have to focus on it really.
one mistake it would cause disaster to our company.
by the way i'm under the Treasury Department.
--we deal with money. transactions. BALANCING!

whoa balancing! but dealing with this company makes me weaker.

((ok, i'm interrupted with this guy. gotta answer this question first from him and i'll be continuing my blog. hay naku Mr. Bognot. haha.ok2 i'm heaven sent na, sasagutin ko na.BRB heart)

ok i'm back. haha. funny how i get so serious with my thoughts then suddenly out of the blue someone would just buzz you up for those question. oh well writing is a part of me. ok so where we are? :)

ok my job. i wanna get out of it.
it makes me physically weak.
as in plus the salary not that so good with my job.
and signing out at work not always on time-delayed 30mins.
i must be out at 6:30 but i always get out at 7pm.
being stressed out with different stuffs at work.
whoa! common! i'm not that superwoman who can deal with lots of stuffs at work.
i know we need to knew all of this things but hey can you give me a break?

Guess what at morning handling the cashiers in getting out their box with multi-tasking printing the reports, doing adjustment, waiting for pick-up to the reports, coin sale, handling deliveries if any, plus a lot more it''s just that i can't tell it all here. but what's for real? all my time at work is being used as in used you can't see me just sitting only but there are lots of work waiting for you.

i wanna quit. i'm only waiting.
waiting for the time that our God would let me go in this job.
i know He will at the right time.

Praying for a breakthrough.
Probably a plane ticket to Korea or a result of passing the Examination.
Come what may, God lead the way.
Let you be in control of everything in my life.

**And it is our good Lord that can keep me holding on with my everyday life. :)