STARTING POINT, WHERE?

i admit i'm having a hard time to be with my anak-anakan nowadays..
it's because of what happened, but guess what i'm longing for her -- all of them..
i miss our bonded moments, especially one to sawa texting..haha.. and the times when were together when all we have to do is laugh.laugh.laugh..

last night i had a conversation with one of my anak(ems) and told her that i miss them a lot especially her ate ina.. (yep! i miss her that when i saw her yesterday i wanna cry out loud.. but then i just hugged her and whispered "aus lang yan" then i bid goodbye..) and it's like i only had one anak that moment..

i don't know what i should say to her.. still there's pain within me..
and i wanna heal those pain inside for me to be ok with her again..

i miss my only son too -- anjo..
i wonder if he's all right..
he answer call or text no more..
i miss that sweet child of mine..

ems -- funny how she is so desperate longing for a boyfriend..
haha.. it sounds funny last night when were talking about that guy -- K.P.
but i don't think that she longs for a guy, maybe she's only mending her broken heart..
good thingi had a talked with her and it makes me feel well that i've made her happy by having a talked with her.. :)

Lovely -- my anak who had a child..
honestly i don't know what's happening to her..
maybe because of them all i'm not that in touch with her..
i'm finding a hard time dealing with her..
hope so i can cope up with her..

ina -- my original anak..
i do miss her.. that's all..

--i'm praying that everything would be fine and somehow i could make time for them..
i felt sorry for myself -- i don't wanna lose one of them.. i do love them..
but everything will be settle in time..
Looking forward to that -- HEAL..