DAY 2 OF 40DAYS

HEARTBEAT.

twas a laundry day for me today, i woke up 8 in the morning -- i'm using washing machine and on the first set of clothes while it was running i read PDL and topic for today "YOU ARE NOT AN ACCIDENT."

What comes up to my mind one my recent problems due to religion.
Religion. Family. Religion. Family. DAD.
I won't worry. I'll live it up to you Dad. :)

Next stuff, my heartbeat. My heart. I don't know what's happening to me. If i have a heart disease or what (maybe i don't have, all i can think 'twas normal to feel that way but it hurts most of the time.) Bear with me, i don't know how to explain what's this - it's like someone's holding your heart so tight that the veins cause them it to move and it hurts. I don't know why, it happened to me before many times but then i ignore it. Maybe because i'm stress or perhaps i lack my sleep that's why it occurs. But i hate it cause everytime it occurs, i wanna cry but all i can do is to hold on my chest so tight or hold on to things tighter just not to feel the pain.

And that's it. I feel it again today but not that too much pain a lighter one.

And an hour ago -- i'm weak due to this crazy little thing. Can't stop thinking again. But what made me smile is that i had this little talk with Kevin's mom accidentally. I thought IE (our endearment) is the one online, i send him a PM but her mom's replied. I was blessed on the last message of her mom to me - "Goodnight, Godbless you." Simple yet it means a lot. Somehow i miss the company of other closest guy Mom to me. I admit i don't wanna be close with anyone's mom especially when it comes to a guy, cause of my 1st ex-b.f. mom. She's so sweet and caring to me and treats me like her own child. (Stop reminiscing.haha) I will look forward to my man in the near future having a cool family that would treat me as their own child too. :)

And what more? I'll pray. :)

"Dad, thank you for this wonderful day, though i'm feeling different heart failures in different ways nowadays still your unfailing love conquers it all. I may be weak at times but feeling your love, your special love for me make me stronger - giving me this brave heart. Thank you Dad, i thank you for these persons who shared their life with me. Blessed me Dad, i want you to transform me Dad into someone's better than before, make me feel loved so that in my next Journey with my man that you have promise to me in the near future i can make him feel love by means of the love you make me feel. (Kagulo ne Dad. haha. ot love kasi eh.Pero balu ku Dad antindyan muku sobra.Ü) Love you Daddy, hhhhuuuuugggggsssss!! :)"

***Phil 4:6***